i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
