i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
