I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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