Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
