Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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