The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
