he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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