I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
operation harelip BJ is a go
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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