Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
