I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
