I heard we made out
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
