He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
