need another drink. this is the easiest way
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
