update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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