so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
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