Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
