You can't motorboat a personality
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
