remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
