No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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