he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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