return my video game
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
