Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize