Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
