and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Gay?
German.
Pity.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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