It's like God shit irony all over that family
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
