I bet he comes in French.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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