If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize