I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
