then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
