I am puke
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
