we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
