there was a trapeze. enough said
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
