Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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