Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
