Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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