I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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