Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
