Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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