plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
The Olympian is in my bed
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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