Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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