Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
