I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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