We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
