i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
