Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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