I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
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