I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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