She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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