I puked a lego.
I just threw up on my dentist
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
