i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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