butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize