so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Terrible idea I love it
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
