dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
