The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize