This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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