i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
