I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Randomize
