i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
We need a shit load of segways right now
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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