dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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