Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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