i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
