wat bout pragnant strippers??
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
