I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
